1年同棲してわかった、同棲に向いているカップルの5つの特徴を紹介する

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大好きな人とともに過ごしているカップルなら、誰もが一度は憧れるであろう「同棲生活」

ぼく自身、彼女と同棲を始めてから1年が経ちました。

先に言っておくと、別に結婚を見据えての同棲とかではありません。笑

「一緒にいる時間を増やす」「生活コストの削減」

この2つが主な理由です。

詳しくは別記事に書いてあるので、ぜひみてみてください>>>年下彼女と同棲を始めた2つの理由。同棲カップルのリアルを発信していきます

そして気がつけば同棲してから1年が経っていたわけですが、率直に言うと「毎日が楽しい」この一言に尽きます。

ケンカひとつなく、毎日くだらないことで笑いあえる人がいるってことは幸せなことです。

でも、世の中には同棲なんてしなきゃ良かった!と思っているカップルも多いと思います。

1年間同棲していく中で、「あ、ここが合わないカップルは絶対に同棲がうまくいかないわ」と時々感じることがポイントがありました。

そのポイントというのは、まさに同棲に向いているカップルの特徴を表すものです。

同棲を考えているカップル、そしてどうやったら同棲がより良いものになるのか考えているカップルの方は必見です。

これから紹介する、同棲に向いているカップルの5つの特徴を知った上で同棲を始めれば、同棲に失敗する確率はグッと下がるはずです。

ボーイフレンド
せっかくなら楽しい同棲生活を送りたいよね!

特徴1:寂しさの度合いが同じくらい


これ、どういうことかと言うと、お互いが寂しがりやだと同棲にストレスを感じにくいんですよね。
同棲するということは、正直言って自分ひとりの時間はグッと減ります。

逆に、パートナーと時間を共有することがグッと増えます。

それなのに、例えば、付き合っている時から彼氏は月に1回会えれば良いと思っていたとします。でも、彼女は本当は週に1回会いたい。

だけど、お互い時間が合わずに月に1回だけしか会えていませんでした。

そこで、一緒にいる時間を増やすために同棲を始めたとして、彼氏にストレスがたまり始めるのは一目瞭然ですよね。

だって、彼氏は多分自分ひとりの時間・彼女との時間・友達との時間、それぞれに対するバランスを取っていたい人だからです。

つまり、寂しさの度合いがカップル間で一致していないんです。

ぼくの場合だと、母子家庭で育ってきて、あまり家族でいる時間がなかったタイプなので人恋しい傾向にあります。笑

一方、彼女も一人っ子なので本質的には寂しがりやなんだと思います。

…寂しさの度合いが一致していますね。笑

お互いに寂しがりやのカップルは、やっぱり同棲をしていてもストレスを感じることなく生活できるので、要チェックなポイントです。

ボーイフレンド
たまには自分の時間が欲しかったり…
ガールフレンド
隣の部屋でイヤホンして映画でもみれば、ほら1人の時間の完成!

特徴2:部屋の綺麗好き度が同じくらい

先に言います。

潔癖症の人は、潔癖症の人とじゃないと間違いなく同棲できません。

付き合っている時は、お互いに自分を取り繕うから基本的に良い部分しか見せませんよね。

彼氏彼女が家に遊びにくるってなったら、必ず部屋を綺麗に掃除しませんか?

もうね、同棲すると面白いくらいに、その人の綺麗好き度が丸裸になります。

同棲開始して1ヶ月くらいは、お互いに使ったものは元に戻して、物は床に置かずに片付けて…ってしっかりやるんです。

でも、これが半年、1年と経つと崩壊します。

パジャマは脱ぎっぱなし、洗濯物は床に散らかしっぱなし、化粧品は洗面台に置きっぱなし…。(やべ、愚痴になっちゃった笑)

ぼくも割と「やりっぱなし」で母親に怒られてきた人間なので、人のことはあんまり言えないのですが、彼女はぼく以上のひどいです。

もしも、ぼくが潔癖症だったら絶対に耐えられないでしょう。

でも、この綺麗好き度ってなかなか付き合っている段階ではわかりづらいのが厄介なんです。

同棲するか悩んでいるなら、しっかりと包み隠さずに話し合った方が良いでしょう。

  • 小さい頃にやりっぱなしで怒られてきたか
  • 洗濯物は週に何回洗うのか
  • 掃除機は週に何回使うのか

ここら辺の些細なポイントをさりげなく聞き出すだけでも、相手の綺麗好き度はわかるはずです。

ボーイフレンド
あの…空き巣が入ったレベルでお洋服が散らかってるんだけど…
ガールフレンド
はい、今すぐ片付けますっ!

特徴3:お互いを束縛していない

同棲していると相手の1日の行動が目に見えてわかるようになります。

ただ付き合っている時は、LINEや電話のやりとりだけなので、何時に家に帰って来るのか休日に誰と遊びに行くのかなんてわかりません。

でも、同棲を始めると相手の細部まで気になるようになってきます。

「明日は遊びに行ってくるね」
「誰と遊ぶの?」

こんな流れになるのは普通です。

普通に付き合っている時は、別に連絡取らない間は相手が何をしていたって大して気になりませんよね。(人によりけりだとは思いますが)

しかし、同棲していると普通の会話から相手がどんな行動をするのかがわかってしまいます。

メリットと捉えるなら、相手が何をしているかわかるから安心できるとも言えるでしょう。

ですが、これが行き過ぎると、相手を干渉してしましまってお互いに束縛してしまう危険があります。

束縛されると自由が奪われた気がして、同棲することに対してストレスや不満が溜まっていってしまうんですよね。

ボーイフレンド
明日は友達と夕飯行ってきます!
ガールフレンド
りょうかい〜

特徴4:家事能力のバランスがとれている

ぼくは料理人ですので、職業柄「料理」が得意です。当たり前ですよね。笑

同棲をする前は、仕事で料理を作っているので、わざわざ家で自炊をすることはありませんでした。

でも、同棲をしてからは休みの日はだいたいぼくが料理を作ります。

なぜかって?「美味しいおいしい」と言って、笑顔になってくれる彼女がいるからです。

世間一般的に考えると、彼女がご飯を作るのが普通かもしれませんが、何事も得意な人が得意なことをやればいいんですよね。

同棲に当てはめて言えば、家事の得意不得意があるのは当たり前なので、得意な家事をそれぞれがやってバランスが取れると同棲はうまくいきます。

ぼくが料理を担当する一方で、彼女は新しく買ってきた家具を作ったり、同棲生活がより快適になるように試行錯誤して家中に色んな工夫を施してくれます。

掃除嫌いなカップルが同棲したら、部屋がゴミ溜めになるかもしれないし、料理が不得意同士のカップルだと毎日がコンビニ飯になるかもしれません。

長く付き合えば、お互いの得意不得意は把握しているはずです。

同棲を考えているカップルは、実際に同棲を始めた時のことをシミュレーションして、色んな家事に当てはめてみるといいですね。

ボーイフレンド
そろそろ人が作ったご飯が食べたいな〜
ガールフレンド
じゃあ、美味しいご飯食べに行こっか!

特徴5:なんでも言い合える関係性であるか

いつも、デブって言ってごめんなさい。でもな、俺のことをハゲ呼ばわりするな!

はい、お察しの通りぼくは彼女のことをデブと言い、それに対して彼女はハゲと言い返してきます。笑

まあ、これは極端な例かもしれませんが、冗談まじりにお互いをけなし合える関係性くらいの方が、同棲生活はうまくいくと思います。

でも、この言葉だけは肝に銘じなければいけません。

《親しき中にも礼儀あり》

長い間一緒にいると、2人の関係性がなあなあになってしまう可能性が高いです。

些細なことでも、

『ありがとう』
『ごめんね』

このふたつの言葉が言い合えるだけで同棲生活はうまくいきます。

同棲しなくとも、長く付き合っていくにはものすごく大切なことですよね。

ボーイフレンド
ハゲって言うな!
ガールフレンド
デブって言うな!

まとめ:同棲する前に、実際に一緒に生活した時のことをシミュレーションすべし!

同棲に向いているカップルの5の特徴

❶寂しさの度合いが同じくらい
❷部屋の綺麗好き度が同じくらい
❸お互いを束縛していない
❹家事能力のバランスが取れている
❺なんでも言い合える関係性であるか

これらの特徴は、同棲する前の段階で判断できるものですよね。

ぜひ、事前に同棲してみた時のことをシミュレーションしてみて、カップル間で話し合ってみてください。

いざ同棲してみて「あれ?思ってたのと違う…」そんなギャップがなくなるはずです。

経験者だから言えることなんですけど、同棲ってめちゃくちゃ人生の幸福度が高まります。

些細なことでも笑い合える人が側にいるだけで、何気ない毎日がカラフルな日々に早変わり。

この記事が、あなたたちカップルの同棲生活の第一歩の後押しとなれば嬉しいです。

 

◎同棲の間取りに悩んでいるなら、1LDkがおすすめです。詳しくは下の記事を参考にしてみてください>>>【現役カップルが解説】同棲するなら1LDKがおすすめ!メリットとデメリットは?

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